Wednesday's Confession

What do you do with a child who can't stand you? How do you encourage a naughty child to behave?

Every weekday morning, between 10 and 1, my life is filled with stress and frustration. Each school day I am crushed by my inadequacy. I have no idea what to do with this child. I have exhausted all options we have come up with except a baby gate. Even if that is legal and successful it only solves part of our problem.

Today was not unlike any other morning, she left the room numerous times again today. When coaxed back into the room she screams a long drawn out "NO!" at me, yells "ow!" if I touch her (that's new), and if I try to talk to her it's "stop it!" and those are just a few of her favorites. She doesn't hurt other children (although she isn't especially nice to them) and is eager to learn for a minute on a very good day. I'm told in the mornings she can't wait to get to school and play with her friends... it doesn't show once she's there! All this week she has been sent home early (not my choice) because I can't get control.

Today was the first time I heard the whispers. This particular child has 2 family members who work at the school. Today at lunch the grandmother started whispering to her daughter about me. It was loud in the gym so I'm sure they didn't think I would hear. As soon as I realized what was happening I focused my attention elsewhere. I don't want to hear it. Then, the Auntie of the child directed her words loudly in my direction, "Then just stop bringing her to school!" This is not what I desire and have said this many times to this family. Maybe that is what needs to happen though? I'm not sure. The poor child has a difficult life and she's not yet 3! Her mother is in Fairbanks "without a job to care for her," her grandmother is considering adopting her so she doesn't have to live with her "good for nothing father," and most of the adults in her life are alcoholics! My co-workers are sober enough during school hours, I believe, but I am not a good judge between sober and slightly intoxicated. I only know when they are super drunk... such as the time one called the house looking for her son. When I promised to help her while she confided in me she told me she loved me! *sigh* Obviously drunk. At least she is a silly drunk and not an angry drunk.

So maybe the child isn't naughty at all... maybe she is hurting. Most likely this is the case. Like I said, she isn't yet 3... there are no naughty children at that age. So what now? How do I fix this? What can I do to help her if, after 3 months, this is just getting worse? It has me thinking more about myself... as a person, mother, future adoptive parent. I am so completely inadequate. I. Can't. Do. This. But He can.

Handing it over to the Big Guy

Praying for His guidance

So the title says Wednesday's Confession but feeling inadequate wasn't the only confession.
Since I had had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (more happened I didn't post here) I convinced myself I deserved a treat. So I drank a sunkist. Then I found a box of HUGE eclairs in the kitchen. I hid in there and ate two of them.
I came back later and had two more!

Wednesday's confession

When I was 6 ish I had really short hair. Since then, I have kept it fairly long. Actually, it has been very long for years. Yesterday, I cut it all off. It's short. When I go back, to add the pink again, I am going to cut more off. I am tired of hair. Pictures to come... maybe...

My confession?

We let the kids indulge a LOT... While getting our hair cut (me, joe and gav) we bribed the kids to behave with suckers. Gavin, Macy, and Molly each had 2 suckers, and Arwen had 1. Molly was extra naughty, because not only did she have suckers but we let the kids have a cookie at Publix. The lady asked if we would like some for the kids and normally I would reply 'no thanks,' but Arwen heard her. "COOOOK-EEEEE!" How could you say no to that?! "Heck yes we want cookies! Didn't you hear the kid? Hand 'em over! Quick, before she cries." ;)

*I found that awesome cookie picture here. It had an awesome sugary recipe to go with it.*

Wednesday's confession

I feel like the scarecrow today. Has anyone seen my brains?

I took the kids outside, today, to spray paint the dragon eggs we are making for the birthday party (more on those later). They LOVE this... for about 10 seconds... then the weeds (or flowers) stole their attention. Everything was going well, but I am impatient and thought, "If I hold the eggs, this will move much quicker. The paint will wash off." Oh boy was I wrong. I have soaked my hands in vinegar, rubbing alcohol with lemon juice, washed with dish soap, tried nail polish remover, and tried an exfoliating face wash. I made progress, but I may still look like this come party time. That doesn't sound so bad though.

What's my confession? While we were doing all this I forgot to feed the kids lunch. I even tried to send them to bed for naps without it. I remembered eventually. They made it.

Things are going well.... why would you...

... NO ALICE! Don't do it.

Silly Alice. *sigh*

These are what my hands look like STILL. On top of that, they feel raw from all the scrubbing.

Thanks to Gav for capturing that DUH moment on camera!

Wednesday's confession

Wednesday was the first day of Joe's Spring Break! I promised (on accident... hadn't had my tea yet and was just saying yes to everything Molly said) Molly we could go to the zoo the first morning she woke up and Daddy was here. Well, Wednesday was that day. It was a perfect day for the zoo, because it was a slightly rainy day. The crowds mostly steer clear of the zoo on cloudy/rainy days. I suppose no one wants to get wet. Well, we headed out with our rainboots on and our hair pulled back. (Mine and Macy's hair goes crazy on humid days!) Totally awesome day.

When we got home, Joe and I were exhausted. In order to acquire some quiet time, we decided to play a game. The kid who pretended to sleep the longest and BEST would get a nickel!!! As you can see it went well. Even Arwen joined in!! Soon, though, she was giggling and bouncing on people to 'wake them up.' Molly claimed Arwen woke her up and got 2nd place (a nickel and dime). Macy and Gavin tied for 1st place (a quarter) when we made them get up!

The confession:

Me and Joe tricked our kids into giving us some quiet time by making them compete against each other for pennies.

She loves laying in a big girl bed. Especially, if that bed is in the sun.

She isn't very good at pretending.

This one is a little actress! She was AMAZING at pretending to sleep.

I kicked him to see if he would 'wake up,' as you can see, he thought it was funny.

Wednesday's confession

Today I am angry. Frustrated. Tired. I absolutely hate renting but can't see owning a home in our near future so I'll have to suck it up. Our fridge is broken. It stopped cooling the food. The freezer is defrosting. There is water all over the floor. It all started yesterday-ish but we thought we had fixed the problem. After a google search we decided to try a few things. Joe pulled the fridge out and cleaned underneath and behind it. It has probably never been done. When we moved in we were told that nobody smoked in the house. I believed them... I shouldn't have. (correction: Joe says they said "The previous tenants were not supposed to smoke inside." I wasn't there for that part... or didn't listen :/ )Gavin and Arwen's room smelled like sweat and smoke... took a LOT of magic on my end to get that out... mostly. I had to wash the walls and carpet multiple times. Anyway back to the fridge. Joe found cigarette butts underneath it! Oh ew! The fridge seemed to be cooling a bit better all day yesterday. This morning the milk was about room temp... I didn't notice until Arwen handed me her morning cup back, "Here mama. Milk?" I smell her milk. GAG. I check my milk in the fridge. Gag BARF! Ug. We just went grocery shopping. The milk, buttermilk, whipping cream, and a few other things are bad already. I think I saved the cheese and eggs by moving it over to the freezer although that may not keep them fresh through the day. The landlords haven't returned our call or email yet. Joe called Sears. They can come look at it on FRIDAY! I guess we will be eating out and living out of a cooler until then :( Not a great start to my day. Can't wait until Joe gets home so we can eat!

My confession is this: While the milk smelled awful 1 unopen gallon didn't smell as bad so I still made my tea with it... wasn't sure how I would handle the day if I couldn't wake up. Also, I took these pictures of Arwen crying because I felt the same exact way but adults can't get away with throwing fits like this. (She's crying because she wants to wear Macy's rainboots but can't walk in them. She keeps falling. So I put Molly's tennis shoes on her and she cried because they weren't boots.)

Above: crying because she wants boots

Below: saying "SHOES!"

I saw this 'writing' on the fridge last night and overheard a convo between Molly and Gavin that went like this. g "Good job writing letters Mol. How did you do it?" m "I just licked my fingers." Nice. Can you see what it says? Poo! The fridge is poo and she knew it first LOL!