O you of little faith

Last night someone called to ask Joe to pick him and his family up at the airport today. They were coming from Anchorage in our usual visitor's/pastor's place. J. is still in the lower 48 trying to fundraise for a fancy new boat to bring him up the river to Stevens Village... the one he rents isn't very nice it sounds like. 

We get up this morning and start getting dressed for church. I don't express it out loud but I don't want to go. This is the first time I have not wanted to go to church in the village. It's usually so very nice to meet someone new and to make new friends. Lately, though, I feel like a circus side show. These guys have never been to a remote village before (like the last family he sent in his place) and in fact the guy doesn't even preach on a normal basis. He is a sunday school teacher. I started to wonder if they just thought of us as an attraction rather than people who needed the fellowship. I felt guilty about this of course and prayed that God would help me deal with the bitterness and open my heart to the message he came to share. *By the way- everyone He has sent has been wonderful to us and I enjoy their company very much. I was just in a funk today... read on.*

Some village homes- viewed from the church doorway

The walk to church was simply lovely. The air was warm but the wind was blowing so the mosquitos didn't swarm. There was slight cloud coverage so it felt more like dawn than noon. It gave the feeling of just waking up while camping... everyone slowly emerges from their campers/tents and gathers around the smoldering camp fire remains from the night before sipping their instant coffee or water. You know, the feeling of togetherness. Of family. Which in turn made me long for my family... and made me slightly more bitter. Alaska is so amazing... and sometimes lonely. 

When we got to church we were the only villagers there. So it was our family of 6 and the visitor's family of 7. The power had not been turned on. The man who usually does it was out of town but had lined someone else up to come out and hook it up. He never came. So we had service by the light through the windows. It was a bit of an awkward start with just us four adults singing and a bunch of wee ones belting out the tunes... I think we sang 2 songs before we called it quits. Then it started raining and we had to close the door, blocking out further light. Onto the message!

The darkish church building

It wasn't one of those move you to tears kind of sermons. In fact, it was a very simple message. He talked about faith. It just so happens that I have been struggling with faith in certain areas. Great! Now I realize just what a boob I had been to God and myself this morning... but He was going to be kind to me anyhow and tell me what I needed to hear. He covered verses like:

Philippians 4:13- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Psalm 78:24- He rained down manna for them to eat; He gave them the bread of heaven.

Numbers 20:11- Then Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the staff, and water gushed out. He talked about never being good enough and how we have to have faith that God can do all things. 

It made me think of Romans 8:28- And we know that in all things that God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Afterwards, we had a really good time talking with the family and I was so glad they came! One of their daughters had made flower hairbows and handed them out to the girls. Another daughter painted the girls finger nails! They were a really nice family and the message, like I said, was perfect for me.

The thing I have struggled with most lately is how we are going to fund the travel to Uganda. With the 6 of us going and 7 (or 8) of us coming back it's really adding up. It seems like an unreachable goal. I have no idea how we will do it. I know we can't... not yet. It would take at least another year before we could afford that. Lucky for us we have God. He can do it. And that's where I tack on "if He wants to." And I am not good enough. Why would He work miracles for us when I am nobody special? I am sure there are better people out there... someone who deserves a miracle. I can think of at least 2 of my favorite people now who need a miracle and they are far better than me. I know you are probably rolling your eyes at me. Joe does it too. O you of little faith (Matthew 8:26).

So my goal this week is to work this out within myself. To have faith! Whether we succeed in getting the remaining funds or we don't I KNOW God is working for the good of us. This has a purpose and it is a good one. Oh see?! I am getting better at it already.

3 more children showed up at the very end... just in time for candy and tag

This was our first time seeing a squirrel in Alaska. It was quite small and seemed to be living in this house.